Jinx Alert Canceled

Apparently I hit the send button and broke it up.....

Heh.
Dan Danielson n' The Doodle

www.soxtherapy.net

Jinx Alert Jinx Alert

Whatever you do don't say anything about the No Hitter that Andy P is throwing for the NEW York Ya*kees.

Opps
Dan Danielson n' The Doodle

www.soxtherapy.net

Lazarus COME FORTH!!!!!!!!!

Who would have thought 30 days ago that the most coveted "available" pitcher at the trading deal line - Roy Halladay - would

A. Not get dealt

and

B. Suck for all of August.

Talk about the moves you don't make.

When I saw that we pulled a Lazarus and somehow had Paul Byrd starting today against Halladay - lets just say I was less than hopeful that things would work ok.

It was his first Major League win since Sept. 7, 2008, and he was ridiculously effective.

Afterwards he had this to say............"I was excited to get out there and I just wanted to help out our team in any way I could," said Byrd. "I was like a kid. It was like the first time I got called up or something. I woke up this morning at 8 in the morning like looking at the walls, nervous -- just ready to go. I hadn't pitched up here in 11 months. It was a great feeling to get out there and just help our team."

Understatement of the year buddy.

BIG PAPI WITH THE WALK OFF

"I like it when you call me Big Papi" or so say Scott Van Pelt on ESPN Sports Center.

How much you want to bet he will be echoing that phrase later tonight should he be hosting the 11PM EST Sports Center?

Brett Who?

Fast Fact From The Doodle

Live From The Sauna........

Fact. 30 of The Last 34 Runs the Red Sox have scored have come with 2 outs. Now That is Some THUNDER (mitch)
Dan Danielson n' The Doodle

www.soxtherapy.net

BFN ALERT: Red Sox acquire left-handed reliever Billy Wagner from Mets

Multiple Outlets are reporting that Red Sox acquired left-handed reliever Billy Wagner from the Mets in exchange for two players to be named later.

MEMO TO The Lord of the Dance - Johnny Paps:

Try not to trip on yourself.

SOX CLINCH SEASON SERIES TIE VS YA*KEES

GOOD GUYS PREVAIL

So other than our Ace looking unacelike and losing 2 out of three to the Ya*ks pretty good weekend overall - We solidified our dominate position over them in head to head play which should come in handy in case they happen to actually tie us in the overall wins and losses come seasons end.

In other News - Apparently someone other than myself has had enough of the enigma that is Johnny Paps and we are trying - desperately trying to get a replacement for him. When told of the Sox's recent efforts to try and make a deal for Billy Wagner of the Mets, Johnny P - seemed confused - as if he didn't understand why the team would want to upset such a great balance which they currently enjoy at the end of the games.

When asked the Follow UP Question.... "Johnny P, Do you know what one of those fancy Sports Cars outside costs?"...... His answer..............."About a Hundred Dollars", and then added - "I am a very good, very good driver, Dad lets me Drive in the Dr........"

The Battle Between Good and.............

Evil

Resumes tonight............ Same Bat Channel ..... Same Bat Time........

Optimal Outcome. Us winning, Texas and Tampa Loosing. That just about covers it for today folks. There was this bit of news from yesterday though.

Ya*kees Minor League relief pitchers Nestor de Leon and Ramon Rodriguez were each suspended for 50 games on Thursday after both tested positive for performance-enhancing substances.

It is widely believed in the minds of many labradoodles that this is just the tip of the iceberg and that there is a culture of abuse at all levels of the Ya*kee organization. (OK, we made this last part up) Be Careful Out there!

Its The Johnny P - Top Five Closer Theme (Audio Montage)

I don't know about you but at my house - It is to the point where when Don Orsilo says the Phrase- "This Call to the Bullpen is brought to you by........." The Doodle (The Real Doodle) Lifts his head up is on full alert and if he then hears the name Papelbon - he goes and watches the rest of the game from under the table with his paws covering his eyes. Now we treat the Dog like a King no matter what - it's just that he knows that those combination of words, most likely are going to result in a large amount of disappointment for a number of people in the room.

Hey it isn't just me some comments from my fellow brethren.

----Good gracious. Even the wins hurt these days. The Sox blew three different four-run leads and tried to give away a three-run advantage in the bottom of the 8th before holding on to win. Based on my emotion after Jonathan Papelbon recorded the final out, I am not sure I'd have felt any worse had the Sox lost

----Then after Jonathan Papelbon did his best to give every Red Sox fan a heart attack, my TV died.

So with that in mind we have an Audio Daily Double Times 2.5 which for you people who didn't go to Standford mean 5. That's right a Johnny P - Top 5 Montage which happens to be just about 4 minutes long - just about the same time the commercials will take - so the next time they make that Call to the Bullpen -It will be brought to you by the Doodle..... I would suggest you break this out listen to it - and then hide under the nearest table with an A.E.D. device near - Again for you non-Stanford people - that would be Automatic Electric Defibrillator. - You know to shock your heart back to life after Johnny P Kills it?

So to the Top 5 Johnny P Songs.









#5. Say It Isn't So.. Hall and Oates. Circa 198Something
#4. The Mayor of Simpleton. ...XTC ....Circa 1989
#3. I'm Gonna Be (I would Walk 500 Batters) The Proclaimers 198ish
#2. Yesterday - The Beatles 19BFD (Before the Doodle)
#1. Theme from Sanford and Son - Mr Quincy Jones. (PG-Very 13 Maybe R Version) heh.

Mama Always Said ........ Wait until August

I have always said nothing matters until August.......................................

Well August has arrived, one of the best months of the year, great month to vacation in Europe - as they all take the month off anyway, the English Premier League Started this last weekend and life is good. (As Seen Here if you are a Soccer Fan)

Unless you happen to be a Red Sox Fan. The team with all the pitching suddenly has none.

Beckett - Cy Young

Lester - Very Very Good

Dice K - Total Piece of Shit and Hurt.

Wakefield Hurt

Penny ok - but not great. No Run Support

CB- Ok but no run support.

In fact we have no run support for a number of these guys.

In fact as a team we really are not hitting - DUH.

Oh and Memo to John Smoltz

Sad to see it but the guy is done. Next stop should be the hall of fame.

So August is here, and for all our time earlier in the season where we were rocking out it doesn't matter. August is here and by Sox Standards. Click Here to See if it isn't below.

Since we do not have a time machine and the ability to stuff a sock in John Henery's mouth last December, this is what must happen to make the playoffs this year.

Get Wakefield Back asap.

Tell JD Drew to Start Taking Steroids - tell him we will cover the salary behind the scenes if he gets caught - I mean the reality is he isn't doing anything now so if he gets suspended we really don't loose anything. Note for those Laywer Types who Basically Freaked out on my last Johnny Paps rant - THIS IS A JOKE . You know who you are.

Bench TEK- he sucks in every category - and please don't tell me his value as a catcher - he sucks. Martinez should be no 1.

Dice - K - I still want to say fuck em and trade his ass for a used Jugs machine - however I would be willing to give him one more chance -basically because we have no other choice -but first I want to see him write, "I will do everything my coaches tell me to do" on a blackboard, in the bullpen, 100 times before each game he doesn't start ..... He can chose the language....and he has to write it himself - not one of his many entourage ... can tell him that is going to replace his need to throw 3 games a week -1 real and 2 in fantasy land. Hey - now that give me an idea for a hit show in Japan - Same as Entourage on HBO here but a reality one that follows Dice K.

Memo to Youk - Try not to get 5 game suspensions OK>? OK?

Lets see what else? Oh yeah - get Clay B some Jogging lessons. That was ugly - Seriously I know he is a pitcher - but he is a professional athlete for God Sake. Prince Fielder or for that matter Cecile Fielder could have scored on that hit.

Now the Sox aside - one of the things I am looking forward to is the Collapse of CC Sabbathia in the post season - provided the Ya*kees make it in. He does it every year - and this year will be no different. This time last year he was pitching 9 innings for the Brewers and basically got them into the playoffs by himself - and then - he sucked - like he did for Cleavland when they made the playoffs. Like he will for the Skanks, so it is written so it shall be!!!!!!

Sink Or Swim This Weekend

Bottom Line.

If you can't beat Texas - you won't go far in the playoffs - provided you make it.
Dan Danielson n' The Doodle

www.soxtherapy.net

It was, let's see, sophomoric, non-substantive, inarticulate, offensive to southerners, homophobic,..............

Recently the Management of SoxTherapy.Net Received the following feedback from one of the many fourms which pick up the feed regarding our recent rant on Johnny P......AS SEEN HERE ........................

If this post is representative of the kind of "discussion" I can look forward to on this site, I'm going to terminate my membership. It was, let's see, sophomoric, non-substantive, inarticulate, offensive to southerners, homophobic, denigrated "cripples" and the autistic...and that's just my first impression...And, Doodle: put a lid on it!

To which we say - ------ your welcome - you can't buy that kind of publicity.

Our Suggestion - Have a Beer and Shut Up.

YELLOW BOOK LIES!!!!!!!

The Yellow Book online phone book is a filthy liar

Click For Larger

Idea Stolen from Twenty Major Still Smoking In Dublin Bars - Apparently they have the same Problem in Ireland.

Big Papi Press Conference

Well Today at around 12:30PM - Live from the Br*nx. Big Papi and the new head of the Union will hold a press conference to "explain" what it was that caused his positive test in 2003.

Anything less than.

1. What the substance was.

2. How it got into his system.

Will be unacceptable.

Now pardon me for thinking this - but I don't get a good feeling having the union guy there - the union has been a consistent disaster for the last 20 years. In Fact The Following Statement just came down from the MLBPA. Which just further tells me they are not going to say shit.

Translation

LAWYERS STILL AND WILL FOREVER SUCK!

The Doodlecast will be coming sometime this weekend after we have time to talk to our people regarding the press conference this afternoon.

Just Great

DoodleCast IV -Teaser

Ok so I ran out of time........but hey the Highligts are all covered here.

DoodleCast IV coming up 8-7-2009. Where this week we will answer the question......

WHO"S YOUR CADDY?

Checklist

So Thursay of last week, I decide to get in the Car and Shoot over to see the Blogfather (credits to arseblogger on that term) and my Brother and Sister-In-Law along with my Godson and Nice (they are 2 different people by the way - as opposed to a transgender situation).

So I got my checklist.
1. The Doodle.

2. Shit for the The Doodle - Food, bowls, treats, scented golf balls etc.

3. Audi with Red Sox Plates. (Reccomend getting one if you have the means)

4. Clubs

5. Etc

So I am 45 Min into a 6-7 hour drive and my email- Blows up from 1. Unread Message to 53 un read messgaes over a period of 15 Min. This has only happened a handfull of times in the last 10 years. 2001 WTC, 2004 ALCS, 2004 World Series, etc - so I am thinking that some shit may have just been up...

And la-de-frigging da if I didn't have to hear for the next 6 hours about how Big Papi was on the list of 104 PED users, and as being on such list proves that everything the Red Sox did in 2004 was tainted, didn't mean anything, and we as fans should be ashamed. I actually got the following email from a NYY blogger.

From: New York Sports Jerk[mailto:newyorksportsjerk@gmail.com]

Sent: Thursday, July 30, 2009 5:09 PM

To: thedoctor@soxtherapy.net

Subject: Re: Fw: New York Sports Jerk

Hey Doc, what's new? Anything exciting happen today? Something that may involve your beloved asterisks?

Sucks when it comes back to bite you in the ass, doesn't it?

B*st*n Red S*x

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To which I simply replied ..... Dear ****

From: "The Doctor"
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:44:58 +0000
To: New York Sports Jerk
Subject: Re: Fw: New York Sports Jerk

The * in Spa*kees isn't a PED thing - its a NY* Fan Thing........ As I said in a Previous Post - As seen below.

Ok first things first - a little housekeeping, Ahem.

From the day forward the American League team based in that total hole known as the Bronx New York will be refereed to as the Ya*kees - reason quite simple - when referring to a word so vile and disgusting common decency prevents me from actually putting the word into print. That and their fan base is an utter bunch of See HERE.

Now back to the matter at hand Mr. Sports Jerk.

If Ortiz and Manny and really at this point its really just Ortiz - as Manny has already been found to be Psychotic Steroid using cunt- which in Manny's case is both separately and concurrently true.

So if it found -A that the "story" is true, which it seems to be, and B the PED was steroids then I would say Ortiz was a cunt in 2003.

However if it turns out that it isn't true or the PED is something you can get at GNC then I am OK with it

The Doctor
www.soxtherapy.net

Hours By Appointment Only

----

and folks that is where I will leave it - if he was doing actual steroids then he was a frigging cheater in 2003, if it was something less than that - but was still something which caused a positive then - hey no hard feelings. In any case 2004 stands alone - worse case our cheaters beat their cheaters - or if we all can remember - their chokers.

Golfing W Dan n The Doodle

Photos by Dan Danielson (Via BlackBerry Storm)

Doodle and Doug Douglas (Uncle of the Doodle)

Doodle with Jack Jackson (Cousin of the Doodle)

Doodle - Guarding our drives from those Frigging Squirrels.

Post Trade Deadline / Papi Listing Golf Tourney

Dan Danielson n' The Doodle

www.soxtherapy.net